


These Wounds They Will Not Heal

by Sxymami0909



Series: Ghosts: The Lost Year [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Annoyed Derek, BAMF Chris Argent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone loves Lydia, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hunter Training, Mention of Allison Argent - Freeform, Pain, RIP Allison Argent, Sassy Lydia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 20:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2124453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sxymami0909/pseuds/Sxymami0909
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been about a month since Allison’s death and Stiles taking off to parts unknown and when Scott has no luck getting Lydia to pick herself up and leave her house he calls in reinforcements much to Lydia’s chagrin. But in the midst of her anger something unexpected happens and Lydia’s realizes that maybe she’ll be able to keep going after all. (Title from ‘Crawling’ by Linkin Park)</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Wounds They Will Not Heal

**Author's Note:**

> Request: from rosemaryh1 on Tumblr – Could you make a one-shot of Lydia's first training session with Chris and Derek after Stiles leaves during the missing year?

Lydia sat silently in the passenger side of  Derek’s truck, arms crossed over her chest as she glanced out the window. Her hair was up in an unattractive messy bun, she wore a pair of lose gray yoga pants and a white fitted t-shirt. The same thing she’d worn to bed last night.

Lydia was furious. Her wakeup call that morning had come in the form of one Derek Hale invading her bedroom and ripping her covers from her body practically dragging her from bed. Not only had he scared the life out of her, but in the ensuing struggle to stay in bed they had broken two lamps, one glass, torn part of her sheets, and it was possible that Lydia might have shoved some wolfsbane into said werewolves face.

In her defense he’d practically accosted her, though looking back it might have been a bit extreme on her part. Once Derek had stopped choking he’d gotten a little angry, flashed his blue werewolfy eyes, fangs and all to complete the look and proceeded to throw her over his shoulder and drag her out to his truck kicking and screaming.

Lydia didn’t even want to think about what her neighbors thought of the commotion. Not that they’d have anyone to complain to outside of her since her mother was out of town yet again. She let out a heavy sigh and continued looking out the window.

Derek sent a sideways glance in Lydia’s direction, knuckles turning white as he clenched his hands on the wheel. Lydia Martin was absolutely out of her mind. When Scott had asked for his help he’d figured he’d have his work cut out for him. If Scott was frustrated and scared he figured things were probably pretty bad.

But he hadn’t expected the redhead to attack him. And okay, maybe he could have been a little nicer, but she drugged him with wolfsbane for god sake… _again_. Derek could smell her anger, her frustration with him, but below all of that was the guilt. Her entire bedroom had been soaked in the stench of pain and guilt and as annoyed as Derek was at the moment, he couldn’t help feeling for the girl beside him.

She’d lost the two most important people in her life days apart from each other and she just wasn’t coping well. Derek turned down the street that house Argent's apartment building and he immediately heard the way Lydia’s heartbeat picked up speed at the familiar location.

Lydia spotted the familiar scenery almost immediately and her anger went to panic in a matter of seconds. Her entire body tensed, hands dropping, one to the seatbelt the other gripping the door handle tightly. “Where are we going?” She asked her tone taking on a decidedly frantic note.

Derek pursed his lips, his chest tightening just a bit at her tone. “We’re going to see Chris,” he stated keeping his voice neutral as they pulled up outside of Chris Argents apartment building. He smelled the influx of emotions before she even said a word.

“No, no I can’t. I don’t want to go.” She said in a rush of words, her heart slamming frantically into the wall of her chest. Lydia turned to him then, the look in her eyes pleading, “Take me home Derek, _please_.” She asked, her eyes burning with tears.

A spark of guilt filled Derek’s chest at the look on Lydia’s face. He let out a soft sigh and turned the car off before shifting in his seat so he was facing her. He hesitated briefly before reaching out and resting a hand on her arm. “Lydia, breath,” he said calmly, “You can do this. I promise you can.” He told her without a hint of doubt in his voice.

Lydia felt a tear slide down her cheek, “I Can’t. Derek please. I’m not ready. I can’t be here.” Allison had only been gone less than a month. She hadn’t seen Mr. Argent since the funeral and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to hold herself together in front of him.

Derek rested his free hand on her shoulder and waited for Lydia to look at him. “You’re never going to be ready,” he told her honestly, “there’s never going to be a time when you can walk into that building without an ounce of pain until you start dealing with these feelings inside of you Lydia.” He pursed his lips, “I know it’s hard. I know how the emptiness aches in your chest. I know the burden of guilt you’re carrying, and I know the solitude of pain.” He shifted closer to her, the movement a bit awkward on his part. Derek wasn’t exactly used to comforting people.

“If you let me, I can help you control what you’re feeling instead of letting it control you. But in order to take that first step you have to come inside with me.”

Lydia could feel the tears against her cheeks as she studied the earnest look on Derek’s face. “Why? Why do you even care? You don’t know me…you don’t even _like_ me. Why would you want to help me?” She asked not even trying to hide the bitter edge to her voice.

Derek had been asking himself the same thing not long ago. At first it had been because Scott had asked him to, but now there was something inside of him that felt the need to protect this girl in front of him. Something he didn’t quite understand, but that he trusted instinctually. “Because you’re incredibly brave. You’re smart and even when you were lied to by the people you trusted most, you stood by them and helped when they needed it. You’re loyal Lydia and that’s a rare quality in people.” He replied honestly.

“You’re more than what I mistook you for and if it’s one thing I know how to do it’s admit when I’ve been wrong,” he said while letting his hands fall from her body.

Lydia stared at Derek for a solid minute trying to see if he was messing with her or if he truly meant the words he was saying. When she found no hint of deceit on his face she swallowed hard and held his gaze. “I’m scared,” she admitted.

Derek nodded, “I know,” he squeezed her arm gently, “But you won’t be alone. Chris and I are going to help you get past this. I’m going to show you how to take that anger you’ve been feeling, that grief, and turn it into something productive…something you can use to fight back with. All you need to do is be willing to trust me.”

Lydia barely knew Derek, not really anyway. Allison hadn’t liked him, though Lydia guessed she had a good reason. He’d never been particularly kind to her and he almost always made fun of Stiles in some way. But Derek was also loyal to Scott, had saved his and Stiles’ lives more than once despite his bitching. He had lost a lot of people, been betrayed by those he loved and trusted. And yet he still fought beside them to protect Beacon Hills, to stop the Oni, the Nogitsune, and to save Stiles.

Despite everything, Derek had stayed by their side since Allison’s death helping where he could and if Lydia was being honest with herself that meant something to her. His faith in Scott meant something and his willingness to put himself out there for her despite how uncomfortable it obviously made him, meant something.

Lydia caught Derek’s gaze, took a deep breath and nodded. “I do trust you.” She said quietly as she reached for her seatbelt and slowly undid it.

Derek couldn’t help the hint of surprise that colored his features at her words, but he pushed it aside quickly and pulled his hand back before pocketing his keys and pushing open the car door. He got out, closed the door and walked around to the passenger side of the truck in time to see Lydia opening the door. He helped her, holding the door for her as she stared at the building.

“You’ll stay with me?” She asked as she finally pushed herself to get out of the truck hesitantly, her eyes never leaving the building her best friend used to live in.

Derek shut the door behind her and paused beside her following her gaze. “I’ll be here the whole time,” he said, “I won’t leave you.” He confirmed.

Lydia turned her head in his direction and tilted her head to the side. She was having trouble moving forward. As if the wolf beside her sensed this, he reached out and carefully took her hand.

“You are Lydia Martin…you can do this. It’s going to hurt, but in the end it’ll help. I promise.”

His words were softly spoken and Lydia could almost feel the truth in them. She had to do this. Allison wouldn’t want her to wallow forever. She squeezed Derek’s hand, straightened her back and moved forward toward the entrance of the building, Derek beside her. It was time to take the first step to healing; no matter how bad it hurt because in the end anything was better than then what she was currently dealing with.

 

______

 

Chris stood in the middle of the small rectangular room in the apartment building’s hidden basement taking inventory of everything he’d dusted off and set up in preparation for Derek and Lydia. The building was owned by a family of hunter’s and since Chris had been taking up residence in Beacon Hills it had seemed like the perfect place for him and Allison at the time. Good area, a place to store his weapons and a place to train.

But now…Chris tightened his jaw and shook his head as he walked over to the punching bag making sure it was rigged securely to the ceiling. He had only gotten back from France a few days ago at the request of Scott despite the fact that Isaac was still there taking some time to himself. Chris hadn't wanted to come back, but when Scott told him it was for Lydia, he’d been on the next plane to California.

Allison’s death was hard on everyone, but it seemed Lydia was taking it harder than most. He was trained to deal with death on an everyday basis and even though that didn’t make it better it did help him compartmentalize. Most people didn't have that ability though. The sound of footsteps drew him from his thoughts and when he glanced up his chest tightened.

The redhead looked smaller than he remembered especially standing beside Derek. She’d definitely lost weight. She was pale and she looked mildly panicked to be there. He caught sight of her hand and the way it pulsed around Derek’s briefly as he watched her glance around the room waiting for her gaze to settle on him. When it finally did, Chris offered her a tired smile, “Hi Lydia,” he said, his voice deep, reserved.

Lydia swallowed hard and released Derek’s hand taking a hesitant step forward offering him a weak smile in return. “Hi Mr. Argent,” she replied her voice shaky. Seeing Mr. Argent felt good and terrible all at the same time. Lydia took him in noting the bags under his eyes, the scruff covering his face and the tired stance he held himself with. He was hurting and part of her desperately wanted to go over there and hug him. But the other part of her didn’t even know how she was standing there without breaking down at the sight of him.

“It’s good to see you,” Chris said breaking the silence in the room as he shifted forward taking a few steps in their direction. His gaze shifted to Derek, “Derek,” he said lightly.

Derek nodded, “Chris. Thanks for letting us come by.” He and Scott had filled Chris in on what had been going on with Lydia and he’d agreed that this would be good for her.

Chris nodded, “Of course,” his eyes drifted to Lydia again, “Do you know why you’re hear?” He asked her quietly.

Lydia shifted on her feet and shrugged. “Derek said something about helping me.” She commented as she glanced between them.

Chris nodded. “When we lose someone close to us, someone we loved, a lot changes inside of us.” He told her as he walked around the room motioning for her to follow him as he stepped towards the hanging punching bag. “There are emotions inside of us that we bury deep, things we tamper down because we feel like we can’t deal with them,” he told her as he stepped behind the bag and reached out gripping it gently. “But all that does is create a grenade inside of us, something dark and unstable. And if we let it fester eventually it will explode and most of the time it’s in catastrophically violent way.”

Lydia held Chris’ gaze and swallowed heavily. She knew he was right. She’d seen it happen before, with Jackson, with Allison when her mom died. She was hurting. She was angry, at life for putting them in impossible situations, at Allison for not being more careful, at the pack for not listening to her, but most of all at herself for not being able to save her best friend.  She hesitated, “Everything hurts…I don’t know how to deal with everything I’m feeling. It all hurts. And…I’m angry.” She told him quietly.

Chris nodded everything Lydia was feeling was normal. He understood it, lived it. “I know. And _that_ is why you’re here. I want you to come stand in front of the punching bag. Derek can you grab the blue gloves from the table beside you and bring them over here?”

Derek glanced to his side and nodded shifting forward to grab the gloves. He followed Lydia towards the bag and watched as she paused hesitantly in front of it. He held out the gloves and waited for her to take them.

Lydia looked away from the punching bag and at Derek, reaching out slowly for the gloves. “I’ve never hit a punching bag before,” she admitted, a hint of nervousness strumming through her body. “I don’t know how to do it.”

Chris smiled at her trepidation. He didn’t think he’d ever heard any kind of hesitation in Lydia’s voice before. “It’s okay; I’m going to teach you.” He said as he released the bag and came around to help Lydia secure the gloves properly. “How do they feel?"

“Weird,” she answered immediately. “A bit heavy too.”

Chris nodded, “That’s okay.” He nodded at Derek signaling him to step back. “Typically when training someone we start with the basics on how to get lose if you’re kidnapped, but I think you'd benefit most starting here.” He pointed to the bag. “Shift a little to the left so you’re right in front of the bag. And once you do that I want you to bend your knees a bit and get into a fighter’s stance. That’s going to be position one.” He told her methodically.

Lydia did what he asked as she placed herself a few feet in front of the bag knees bent, arms lifted. “I’m not sure what a fighter’s stance is.” She admitted.

Chris glanced at Derek, “Can you show Lydia the proper technique for a fighter’s stance?” He asked the werewolf wanting to make sure he included Derek too as odd as that might sound.

Derek moved seamlessly shifting into a fighter’s stand beside Lydia, his knees bent, feet slightly spread, toe-to-heel alignment position, shoulders and arms relaxed. His elbows were down and in, hands up, chin is down, fists balled together. “You need to keep your body relaxed and at an angle ready to move quickly if you need to.” He told her, his gaze traveling over to hers.

Lydia studied his body, taking in the way different parts of him moved and she emulated the stance, shifting her body into a mirror image of his.

Chris smiled, “Perfect. Now Lydia, I want you to keep your eyes forward and hit the bag.”

Lydia stepped forward uncertainly and thrust her arm out making her gloved hand connect to the punch bag with a light thud. The action felt awkward and stilted, but kind of good. She repeated it once, then twice and stopped when she felt Chris’ hand on her arm. She glanced over her shoulder at him her eyebrow arching.

Chris cleared his throat, “Throw punches at the bag but don’t throw yourself at the bag. It’s important to keep your balance. Also ground your feet when you throw the punch it gives you more control, more balance, and more power in the punch,” he explained as he gripped her arm carefully and continued to speak as he guided it forward to show her what he meant.

“Relax your arms and throw quick snapping punches. Commit some power but don’t have your fist making contact with the bag for too long. As soon as you make contact, return that fist and throw the next punch. You want to get in and get out, never leave yourself open for someone to duck in and hit you.” He released her arm and then stepped back. “Try again, this time I want you to throw three punches at a time and then pause in the fighter’s position for a minute before doing another three.”

Lydia pressed her lips together and nodded, a look of concentration on her face. She took Chris’ advice and moved her body into the right position again before letting her hand jerk out again in front of her angling over her body and slamming into the bag with a thud. She pulled back immediately and threw another punch. This one felt less awkward as her body learned the movements.

She threw the third punch and then paused in a fighter’s stance briefly before reaching out to throw another series of punches. Lydia’s heart was hammering in her chest as the anger she’d been feeling flowed through her. She hated how distant everyone was, her fist slammed into the bag, she hated that she was seventeen and had already lost so many people she loved, a loud thwack sounded when she hit the bag again. Lydia hated that her best friend was gone and never coming back and the boy she loved was gone too and now she had no idea where she fit or if she could deal with everything that happened next. The bag shook heavily with her next punch and she heard an angry noise fall from her throat with the force of the punch.

Derek glanced from Lydia to Chris as they watched her work over the bag; her body moving furiously, face flush, eyes lit with anger. She moved with dexterity he hadn’t realized she had. He could see the tears building in her eyes and he knew what was coming before it even happened.

Chris waited as her punches grew faster, more erratic and a small sob broke from her throat. His chest tightened as tears spilled over leaking down her cheeks as she continued to hit to hit the bag. He knew it hurt and he’d known this would happen, but it was necessary. She needed to bring the emotion forward and let it out or it would build up and hurt her or other people, possibly both.

He glanced over at Derek who nodded and then they both moved forward, Chris resting a hand on her right shoulder and Derek one of her left.

Lydia felt the heat from their hands and her body froze as she sucked in several deep breaths. “I miss her so much,” she sobbed, her body shaking, “I’m so angry at her and Scott, and everyone. They should have listened to me…they’d shouldn't have come for me. I told them not to…I knew I knew…” she cried brokenly her body sagging forward slightly.

Chris held her up and he nodded, “I know. But they love you Lydia, Allison loved you. Scott, the pack…you mean more than you know and they came for you because you’re a part of the pack,” Chris told her in a hushed voice.

Derek rubbed her back, “And we don’t leave pack behind.” He added quietly. “It’s okay to be angry, Lydia. It’s okay to cry and yell and scream. It’s normal to need that release.” He told her.

Lydia lifted her hand to wipe her eyes and after a few minutes the tears stopped and she took a few shaky breaths. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Chris frowned, “Lydia you have no reason to be sorry.” He shifted tapping her chin lightly until she looked at him. “You, Derek and I are going to work on dealing with this anger your feeling. We’re going to make sure you know how to protect yourself. We all miss Allison, that will never go away, but I think it’s time we all started to try and heal,” he said his heart clenching as he cupped her cheek before leaning in and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You’re going to be okay and I’ll be here to help anyway I can.” Allison would have wanted that. Lydia was like a second daughter to Chris and he wasn’t going to lose her to her own demons or to any other ones.

Lydia couldn’t help the emotion that built in her chest and she shifted forward impulsively and wrapped her arms around Chris in a hug. “I’m really glad your back.” She said quietly.

Chris hesitated briefly before wrapping his arms around her in a tight hold. “I’m glad I’m back too,” and honestly a part of him was. It was good to feel needed, to be able to help protect the people his daughter cared about enough to give her life for. He pulled back a couple of minutes later clasped his hands on the sides of her head, “I think this is enough for today. But I expect to see you back here on Friday with Derek. Make sure you've got some proper workout clothes and shoes. We’ll do more on the bag.” He told her.

Lydia watched him for a minute and then she felt her lips quirk up at the corners into a smile. The first real one she’d had since Allison died and Stiles left. “I’d like that. Just the three of us?” She asked glancing between him and Derek.

Chris nodded, “Just the three of us. It’ll be our thing.” He said as he dropped his hands from her hair and took a step back.

Lydia nodded. “Okay,” she said softly before glancing down at her hands. She started to attempt to take them off as she spoke, “This is a pretty well stocked place. Aren’t you worried other people in the building will see it?” She asked as she struggled to get the gloves off.

Derek placed a hand over hers stopping her movements before undoing the gloves as Chris answered her question.

“This place is actually hidden pretty well. A family of hunters owns this building and they put this area here for hunters in the area to store weapons and train. So I figured since we were going to be doing some of that this might be a good place.”

Lydia glanced up as Derek finished taking the gloves off for her. “Thanks for letting me come here. I know you guys have a code and everything about not letting civilians know and stuff.” Allison had let her read some of her family books when they were searching for stuff and Lydia knew a good deal about the Argent's history now.

Chris quirked an eyebrow at her, but smiled. “It’s not a problem at all Lydia. I think this will be good, for all of us.” He said his voice calm.

Lydia nodded as Derek placed the gloves back on one of the tables. “I think you may be right.” She added quietly. She felt a hand on her arm and her attention shifted to Derek.

“I can take you home now,” he said and when she nodded he turned his head towards Chris a grateful expression on his face. “We’ll see you on Friday.” He told the other man as he placed a hand on Lydia’s arm after she said her goodbyes and guided her back the way they came glad that she seemed a lot more calm then when they’d come. Maybe this would all work out after all.

 

______

 

It didn’t take long for them to make it back to her house and when Derek parked his truck in her driveway she unhooked her seatbelt and shifted in her seat so she was facing him. She was silent for several minutes before clearing her throat. “I’m sorry about the wolfsbane this morning. That was uncalled for.” She told him, feeling more than a little guilty for using something that could have hurt him a lot more than it did.

Derek shifted his gaze to the redhead lifting a brow in her direction. “I’m alive and unharmed, so I suppose it’s alright.” He said his tone calm. He tapped his fingers against the wheel. “It’s probably good you keep some there just in case.” He added.

Lydia’s chest tightened at his words and she nodded. “I’ve kept it there ever since,” she paused, “for a while,” she continued not wanting to bring Peter up. “I just,” she rested her hands on her knees and pressed her lips together, “I wanted to say thank you. I know I gave you a hard time but…I think this was good.” Lydia was still sad, she still felt guilty and angry and every once in a while afraid.

But the heavy pressure that had been weighing on her chest when she was startled awake that morning after less than three hours of sleep, didn’t seem so crushing anymore. And she had a feeling she owed that to Derek Hale and Chris Argent.

Derek caught her gaze and he nodded. “You don’t need to thank me. I know it sounds odd and you barely know me. But Scott isn’t the only person you can count on Lydia. We’re all in this together. You’ve got Scott, me, Isaac when he comes back, Kira…you’ve got a place in Scott’s pack and we all care in our way.” He told her, his voice quiet, serious.

Lydia could feel her eyes burning at Derek’s words. She reached out and rested a hand on his arm. “Thank you,” she said again. “I know Scott’s been worried and I know I’ve been wallowing and just…pushing him away I guess,” she paused trying to figure out what she wanted to say, “it just really hurts. Everything hurts. And I know it hurts him too, but at the same time it’s different. I can’t explain it. I want to be there for him, I want to help him, but some days it’s a fight to even get out of bed.” She admitted swallowed hard.

“And that makes me feel even worse because I’m Lydia Martin. I don’t let things get to me. I do what needs to get done all the time and keep my emotions in check and lately…I just can’t do it, especially now that I can pick up on other people’s emotions. It’s just really hard.” She sighed not really sure why she was telling Derek all of this.

Derek listened to her closely before speaking. “I understand.” He said honestly, “It’s overwhelming, but that doesn’t make you weak. You’ll get past this, we’ll help you and eventually you’ll be in control again. And until then, you’ve got Scott and I to guide you. You’re not alone,” he repeated his earlier words.

Lydia sent him half a smile. “Neither are you.” She told him squeezing his arm gently and then pulling her hand back. “You’re welcome here any time Derek. Just…use the front door,” she told him before reaching for the door handle. Lydia pushed open the door and then paused halfway out of the car and glanced over her shoulder at Derek. “See you Friday?” She asked her tone hopeful.

Derek let himself relax momentarily and slipped her half a smile. “I’ll see you on Friday Lydia.” He watched her smile again before she shut his door and waved. He nodded in her direction and watched as she turned heading back towards her house. Derek waited until she was safely inside before backing out of her driveway and heading back to the main road.

Things hadn’t gone exactly as planned, but they did go better than he expected. He needed to fill Scott in on what happened and let him know that Lydia was going to be joining him and Chris for weekly training sessions. But for the moment, Derek was going to enjoy the fact that for once he’d not only done something right, but he’d been able to make someone’s day better. A genuine smile pulled at his lips; maybe he wasn’t such a walking disaster after all.


End file.
